Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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