I smell stomach acid.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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