Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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