she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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