he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
