Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
