There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
