cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize