don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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