I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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