fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
