i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I could fuck to npr.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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