on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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