Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
