Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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