that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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