I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
