I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
