That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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