I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
