i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
