So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
