i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
