I will die if light touches me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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