guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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