Buhtt sex?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
