yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
