Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
