Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize