my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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