uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
