you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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