Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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