i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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