Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
