hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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