I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
