I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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