I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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