Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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