hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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