Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
