I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
