He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
