I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
