her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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