I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
