Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
