im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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