You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize