I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
