oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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