he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize