Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
