What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize