At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize
