Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
