just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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